39 weeks 5 days pregnant... 2 days to go!

So I really wish we didn't have an actually due date ~ it's torture really! Especially for me as my first two were early. Ava was a week and Gabriel was two days. Gracie is my 'poker' baby.. they always say the third one throws you a curb! And she did! She ended up being in the frank breech position... they left me to go a week overdue hoping that because she was my third and that there was more room in my uterus that she would turn - but alas she didn't! The cord was around her neck... and well I guess she didn't want to turn. I guess I could have had an external version performed at the hospital.. but I prayed about it considerably and I just figured she was in that position for a reason and I didn't want to go ahead and have the procedure done.. and then end up in an emergency c-section. Although I didn't want a section at all... I was ok with just having a healthy baby and of course keeping myself safe too. But that is over, I'm totally ok with that... and she is here, healthy and a great little stubborn breech baby she is! :)

So anyway ... back to this mystery baby no. 4 ... It's not that I mind too much that the clock is ticking closer and closer to my due date of this Sunday November 1st.. I think what just bugs me to no end is everyone being sooooooo negative... I think some family and friends want to see you be overdue... so they can say "See you silly women you don't know your body... and I told you you would be overdue"... What ever happen to the people around you to want the best for you? To be happy with what is happening in your life? To just support ... and not linger in the background just chomping at the bit and wanting sooo desperately to say "I told you so"!

You know what I say to those people: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhh you suck! And what you say only reflects the type of person you are - mean! So poop on you! OK... I'm pretty frustrated.. I even had someone tell me to stop counting down. Hey you know what?? THIS IS OUR PREGNANCY, THIS IS OUR BABY... AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW FAR ALONG I AM ~ THEN GUESS WHAT? DON'T READ MY BLOG or BETTER YET DON'T READ MY STATUS ON FACE BOOK!

OK, I'm back in my happy place! So I am looking forward to having this baby.. whether he/she is early or late... can't wait to hold this little one.. and introduce him/her to Ava, Gabriel and Grace!

Blessings to you all and happy Friday!
PS - I love having a blog that I can yell into cyberspace... and then just feel good! :]

Where's my baby??? haaaahhaaaa

OK... so I do still have a few days to go to my due date. EDD is November 1st. I am trying to just rest, do what I can to keep the house tidy... (since we will be attempting a home birth). Keeping up on the laundry... and trying to cook some decent dinners.. (but I must say I do love when Jay suggests and brings home take-out! Love you Harvey's!) ;)

I've also been praying more intensely these last few weeks... that baby is healthy, that I know God has this little life already written in his book.. and my life too. I have been just trying to be really at peace and stay calm.. hopefully that way my body won't tense up... thus contributing to me being overdue.

I am feeling good... tired and achy some days (especially days like today when it is rainy - damn arthritis!). I am getting really excited too. It's funny how your mind plays tricks on you... I'm thinking to myself... I know I've been pregnant the last 39 weeks... but I'm - really? really? am I having another baby! I received a package from my sister yesterday (thanks Adri!) and I was going through all the new baby clothes, stuffed bear and smelling the new born diapers.. and I was just in a daze... HOLY COW I`M HAVING ANOTHER BABY... SOON I WILL HAVE A NEW BORN IN THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!! But I am ready, I am ready for baby number four. I know there will be struggles, but I am determined to stay positive and reassure myself that the hard times will pass and allow myself to enjoy all the time I have with my family - I will be stronger for that. I KNOW I can do this!

Jay and I are really really excited. We are even more excited because we are going to attempt a home birth. I just have such a strong sense of peace and comfort. I love that I can open my heart to God and say to him: `You are in control, I love that you know me soo deeply, I love that you love me unconditionally, I love that you made me the way that I am.`

I am thankful for my life, I am thankful for my husband, I am thankful for my family. I am just thankful. Doesn`t mean my life is perfect. Doesn`t mean that I don`t get hurt by people in my life. Doesn`t mean we don`t face struggles. I just means that I am thankful.

39 weeks and counting....

So I am nearing the end of this pregnancy. I am actually very surprised how well I have felt during this pregnancy considering I had/have 3 other children 4 years of age and under to take care of in the mean time. I honestly can't figure out how I did it. Don't get me wrong, I certainly had some bad days of feeling quizzy, tired, cranky and all the other good and fun things comes with being pregnant. But for the most part, I've felt really really good! And for that I am very thankful for.

I certainly am not one of those women that just complain constantly towards the end... and just tells anyone who will listen that I just want this baby out out out as soon as possible. But I am getting anxious now; with all three other children we didn't find out what we were having ~ and the same goes for this one. So we are really really excited to find out if this baby is a 'he' or a 'she' ~ either way I've been praying that the baby is healthy, and that our first attempt at a home birth goes 'uneventful' ~ with the exception of a wonderful bundle of joy.

I am also totally ok with this being my last pregnancy. I am ready to move on... to watch our children grow up to be awesome individuals. I am looking forward to growing closer to my super awesome husband... to be able to go for dinner and enjoy a glass of wine with my honey bunny (that would be Jay!) :) I also believe that I am in the right place in my head now to start to get in shape. I started to loose weight after I had Grace. I went down to the weight when I first started having children (although even then I was about 50lbs over weight) and from there I was able to drop an additional 10lbs or so and that was just watching very very closely what I was eating. And believe me for me to loose 10lbs is a big deal. So I am looking forward to getting in shape. I want to be healthy, more sexy (for Jay), feel good for myself, and just be around for my family as long as I can.

I am starting to feel 'heavy', baby has certainly started to makes his/her way down and has 'engaged'... I generally go early... and I'm hope the same is true with this little one.

Probably the last picture I will have taken before baby is born... and I am truly not trying to sound coincided... but I think I look pretty damn good... for 39 weeks! :)

Baby is coming...

OK.. so I haven't posted for a while. October has fulfilled it promise of being busy! We had a beyond great time in NB for Jay's brothers wedding. It was soo wonderful to see all the family to meet our new sister-in-law and to just be there for their special day.

So we've been home for about a week now had Thanksgiving and all that good stuff. I've had two midwife appointments, baby is doing well, he/she is head down... now just the wait begins. Oh wait I forgot to mention that I had a consultation with an OB (standard procedure here where we live if I am to birth in the hospital). So that went 'alright'... I was a bit taken back at the response to my birth plan that I presented him. There were just a few points that I would not budge on ~ and believe me I wasn't asking for anything crazy... all pretty standard. Well standard if you haven't already had a c-section. Standard if we weren't a just a 'level 1' hospital. Standard if the obstetrics team put more trust in midwives and allowed women to birth in the hospital the way THEY wanted to. But no... not the case here.

So I left my appointment feeling very overwhelmed, very out of control and basically starting to freak out when I began to picture all the possible things that could happen with this birth. I was very very upset! My wonderful midwife (who is actually on vacation right now.. .but is coming back a week early to be here for us for our birth - called me that night at my home as she had heard from her midwife colleague how terrible my OB consult went ~ *love* my midwife). She put me at ease.... and we talked about one more option.

So that has basically brought ya'll up to speed to this morning... Jay took the morning off work and we had our first home visit from our midwife. Firstly she wanted to know where we lived so when I do go into labor it's a non-issue of finding the house, secondly to have my standard midwife appointment at home (always more intimate and comfy at someones house), and thirdly to discuss home birth. Yup .... you read it right: home birth. Jay and I have been giving this option a lot of consideration, we've been doing a lot of reading, and I know for me I've been praying about it. So today we discussed in further detail how things would happen... and what 'could' happen.

In conclusion... I am preparing all that we will need for a home birth! Yikes... are we really 'that' home birth kinda family???? Well I guess we are going to attempt to! And I know for Jay & I... what we were told we can and can not do was just not acceptable to us... so this is the direction we are going. We know how I birth. We know what 'risks' we can take. We know God is in control.... not the OB at the hospital that I will meet for the first time... while laboring.

Jay & I both feel at peace with our decision knowing all the risks (although let me just assure you all they are very very minimal even for a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) ~ BUT also knowing how absolutely awesome, beautiful and wonderful this birth will likely be at home. We are very excited! AND Jay has requested to our midwife that HE catches the baby (and of course she is totally ok with that)! Wild!! Just wild!!!

So if anyone is reading this, please pray for our family. And if you disagree with our decision, I would prefer to not know about it, as it is our decision. Please pray. Please just support. Please just love us for what we are doing.

....... getting ready for some 'happy birthing' :)

It's Party time... 'homeschool' style

It's been a busy few days around here for us.. on Friday was our (first annual?) Fall Harvest Party for all our homeschooling families. And I have to say it was soo wonderful! Wonderful for my kids to be around and play with other homeschooling kids. Wonderful to be around moms that have 'been there... done that'. Wonderful to have adult conversations and wonderful to get encouragement from other moms (and other Christian moms to boot!)

The pot luck/buffet lunch idea was awesome! What a concept! Growing up in an Italian home we didn't 'do' pot luck OR buffet! But since I've met my husband (his background is Scottish/Irish/English) I've come to really enjoy the feeling of pot luck and buffet meals. Don't get me wrong I really do like the 'family' style of serving food (large platters in the middle of the table and passing it around to each other). But what I like about pot luck is that everyone gets to bring something they really enjoying cooking/baking... and we all get to share in a fantastic meal together and move around a bit as you eat and chat. OK soo enough about my food obsession...

The weather was great on Friday, a bit of a nip in the air in the morning but by mid afternoon the sun came out and gave us all just the right amount of sunshine and warmth. Here are some pictures from this special and very Thankful day:

... And these are just a few things we are thankful for.. good times, good people and memories we will have forever.

Blessings ~