OK... so I do still have a few days to go to my due date. EDD is November 1st. I am trying to just rest, do what I can to keep the house tidy... (since we will be attempting a home birth). Keeping up on the laundry... and trying to cook some decent dinners.. (but I must say I do love when Jay suggests and brings home take-out! Love you Harvey's!) ;)
I've also been praying more intensely these last few weeks... that baby is healthy, that I know God has this little life already written in his book.. and my life too. I have been just trying to be really at peace and stay calm.. hopefully that way my body won't tense up... thus contributing to me being overdue.
I am feeling good... tired and achy some days (especially days like today when it is rainy - damn arthritis!). I am getting really excited too. It's funny how your mind plays tricks on you... I'm thinking to myself... I know I've been pregnant the last 39 weeks... but I'm - really? really? am I having another baby! I received a package from my sister yesterday (thanks Adri!) and I was going through all the new baby clothes, stuffed bear and smelling the new born diapers.. and I was just in a daze... HOLY COW I`M HAVING ANOTHER BABY... SOON I WILL HAVE A NEW BORN IN THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!! But I am ready, I am ready for baby number four. I know there will be struggles, but I am determined to stay positive and reassure myself that the hard times will pass and allow myself to enjoy all the time I have with my family - I will be stronger for that. I KNOW I can do this!
Jay and I are really really excited. We are even more excited because we are going to attempt a home birth. I just have such a strong sense of peace and comfort. I love that I can open my heart to God and say to him: `You are in control, I love that you know me soo deeply, I love that you love me unconditionally, I love that you made me the way that I am.`
I am thankful for my life, I am thankful for my husband, I am thankful for my family. I am just thankful. Doesn`t mean my life is perfect. Doesn`t mean that I don`t get hurt by people in my life. Doesn`t mean we don`t face struggles. I just means that I am thankful.