Had a great run tonight. It was 30° something but felt like 42° with the humidity. There is something about running in the heat that actually feels good. Sweating and FEELING like I am working out - working HARD. It felt good. Ran up a CRAZY steep hill tonight .. three times .. it was soo hard. But it felt good. I am hoping all this hard work will pay off at the next race in a couple of weeks.
Some good news.. I am down 18lbs! Yay! 34lbs more to go. I've been watching what I eat.. but I also eat what I want (in moderation) if that makes sense. If I want a treat.. I bake something and enjoy it. Do I do it all the time.. no. But when I do enjoy that 'treat'... I feel good.. and then I don't need or want to have it for a long while. I've worked too hard and enjoy how I am feeling now to just throw it all away... to just be overweight. That is not me. That is the old me. Am I obsessed? No... I just want to healthy. I want to be a good example. I want to look on the outside the way I feel on the inside.
On a bit of a sad note... I was also very overwhelmed with emotions tonight. Sadness to be specific. I miss my mom. I wish she could see me run. I wish I could hear her say that she is proud of me. I wish she could 'experience' the run through me. I feel sad because my mom never got to do or experience things she wanted to... due to illnesses. Real illnesses. But I have to be strong.. keep running and continue to work at being the absolutely best mom I can be. I run because I can.