OK.. so I am OBVIOUSLY very deprived! I've been struggling with my complexion *sigh*. I've been wearing make-up (modestly) since about 10 years old (yes I know that is very very young). I can't figure it out myself.. my parents were quite stick with us.... I've never been to a sleepover! Never dated in elementary school or high school! I had a VERY casual boyfriend at the age of 19 - yes folks.. 19! Went to college.. didn't date anyone there.. just had fun. Partied (pre-christian life). Then I met Jay and well the rest is history as they say. But I could wear make-up - go figure! Anyway.. back to the purpose of this post....
I've *given* up ALOT since basically retiring from my broadcasting career and staying home to be with the kids. Ahh... the Saturdays I would go to get my nails done, eyebrow & other personal body parts waxed, pedicures etc. It made me feel good. Not that I didn't have a bad self-esteem (I don't think).. it just made my body feel good and look good.
This past week I used a gift card to a local fancy smancy spa (that I've had for ONE YEAR NOW!). It was for a manicure and pedicure. Since I was late (which is virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me to get out of the house without one for the four kids needing something from me) I had to forgo the manicure. I actually found it quite difficult to just sit. Be still. Not have to do ANYTHING. I did however enjoy the soothing music while I gazed at the water trickling down the water wall.
This little night out to pamper myself got me looking in the mirror. Yikes! My skin.. the pores! The startings of some wrinkles. OOOHh how I LOTHE the thought of getting old. Looking old! HATE IT! I know we will all get old. But why God? Why I ask you? The white hair (with I am sooo very THANKFUL I don't have yet). The wrinkles. The sags? That is on my list to ask God when I get to heaven. Looking forward to some lengthy conversations!
So back to my skin.. I've always struggled (in my opinion) with poor complexion. Not really pimples.. although I do get a few. But just redness here and there. Blotchiness. Anyway.. I was in the store last night and I noticed a box of pore strips. I've never tried them before. Needless to say.. I've done three strips in less than 24 hours! I know.. I totally ignored the directions that say wait a day in between... but man was it gross! The crazy stuff that comes off on those things!
My point of this post is that I feel that in someways I've let myself go. I would often look at other women.. and think 'humm they look so fit.. or they have such nice skin..' But I never stopped to think that maybe they actually work hard and exercise. (which I am now doing myself). Or that they take care of their skin. Use night creams, strips and all those other products.
I DO NOT do New Years resolutions. I think they are ... well.. dumb! HOWEVER... since I started running.. since I started to take my health, weight and mental well being more seriously this year.. I want to continue on that road. In addition to aiding my mind and body.. I want to take care of my skin. I need to feel like a women again. Even in the smallest ways. Taking care of me so I can be the best wife and mom that I can be.