Three Times Up

Had a great run tonight.  It was 30° something but felt like 42° with the humidity.  There is something about running in the heat that actually feels good.  Sweating and FEELING like I am working out - working HARD.  It felt good.  Ran up a CRAZY steep hill tonight .. three times .. it was soo hard.  But it felt good.  I am hoping all this hard work will pay off  at the next race in a couple of weeks.

Some good news.. I am down 18lbs!  Yay!  34lbs more to go.  I've been watching what I eat.. but I also eat what I want (in moderation) if that makes sense.  If I want a treat.. I bake something and enjoy it.  Do I do it all the time.. no.  But when I do enjoy that 'treat'... I feel good.. and then I don't need or want to have it for a long while.  I've worked too hard and enjoy how I am feeling now to just throw it all away... to just be overweight.  That is not me.  That is the old me.  Am I obsessed?  No... I just want to healthy.  I want to be a good example.  I want to look on the outside the way I feel on the inside.

On a bit of a sad note... I was also very overwhelmed with emotions tonight.  Sadness to be specific.  I miss my mom.  I wish she could see me run.  I wish I could hear her say that she is proud of me.  I wish she could 'experience' the run through me.  I feel sad because my mom never got to do or experience things she wanted to... due to illnesses.  Real illnesses.  But I have to be strong.. keep running and continue to work at being the absolutely best mom I can be.  I run because I can.